Another Reason To Hate The Taliban

The verb "to bogart" was born of hippies dangling joints from their mouths like half-baked Humphery Bogarts. More specifically "bogarting" or "hogging" refers to the forgetfulness/selfishness of being slow to pass the joint along to others. Pot smoking, you see, is collectivist by nature.


Now I hear the Taliban have adopted this stoner affliction and are bogarting opium for chrissakes. Despite the pre-historic garb and theological handicapping these crafty bastards are working the markets of capitalism like Wharton School grads. By gathering all the poppies and hording the opium they are manipulating supply and demand while simultaneously attacking us at our core values. A hatred of our fun-loving, devil may care lifestyle is the root of the Taliban's distinctly and ironically anti-American, American behavior. In turning our own economic weapons against us vis-à-vis market manipulation they're infringing upon our god given right to illegal drugs at a fair price. So yet another reason to hate the Taliban - they're free market capitalists!

Heroin is a nightmare but opium makes for a nice rainy day lounge about, so if you're a generation DIYer head down to the Chelsea Flower Market and buy some poppies before the price blows through the roof. Hint

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