Thursday, October 02, 2008

Beyond the Palin

When I was a kid having a beautiful but dumb gal on your arm was cool. Preferably one who didn’t ask too many questions. These dimwitted babes operated purely on emotion. Any discussion that didn’t involve tan lines or the temperature of Cold Duck was pointless. Sure there were dreamy reminisces of a hometown’s simplicities but mostly it was exactly like you would expect when dating a Kim Cattrall.

The worst of it was that these kittens never got jokes. And rehashing punch lines to even the most beautiful women is tedium. It takes the fun out of the funny. The endless explaining of the mechanics and irony and references of humor was the only thing that turned me away from a lifetime of free gas station credit card purchases and sex in public. I learned the long and hard way that smart women were more fun, though mind you I'm not complaining about the road traveled.

This leads to the reason why I'm worried about Sarah Palin. She’s got the babe part down and if elected will undoubtedly have the best tan lines to ever preside over the Senate. I just don’t know if she’s smart or not. And smarts is all I want in these people. She appears to have some verbal zingers in her quiver which is nice but she employs them solely in obfuscation or once in awhile in defending her home state’s dreamy simplicity. Palin’s quips never zing with the hum of substance but rather with a kind of hot for teacheresque BDSM. I'm afraid she's nothing more than generic republican emotion. Not being able to name any Supreme Court rulings or recall what she reads is weird but I'm more concerned that if she can't get a simple joke like "Why don’t women have brains?” we're truly doomed. So at tonite's Vice Presidential Debate, I hope Joe Biden tells Sarah Palin at least one joke for the good of the Union. I gotta know.

Punchline: cuz they don’t have a dick to put them in.

The Minnesota Independent put together a nice piece on Palin's religious extremism.


Anonymous said...

bush is a joke. i suppose you like him

Anonymous said...

I feel obligated to say something about Gov. Sarah Palin because, as the Talmud says, "Silence is akin to assent." I begin with critical semantic clarifications. First, the popularity of Gov. Palin's hastily mounted campaigns among muddleheaded, biggety sad sacks is a harbinger of viperine things to come. Gov. Palin may mean well but he wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe "as many as six impossible things before breakfast". Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that the few of us who complain regularly about Gov. Palin's indiscretions are simply spoiling the party. I prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that the law of self preservation dictates that I test the assumptions that underlie Gov. Palin's announcements. That fact may not be pleasant but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter. In closing, we must do everything in our power to chastise Gov. Sarah Palin for not doing any research before spouting off. The fight must go on.

Bill said...

dumb chicks with big tits, are you telling me you have turned your back on them? are you gay?

jill said...

It would have been incredible if Joe Biden had said i "know" Kim Catrall and you are no Kim Cattrall.


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the running mule