Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Jacked To The Gills: Mumbai Terrorists on LSD & Coke

Just like the Mahdi militiamen of Fallujah, it turns out the Lashkar-e-Taibat in Mumbai were out of their minds on drugs. The Pakistani bred terrorists used the nominally recreational drugs of lsd and coke to prolong their murderous rampages.

So to recap the current world at war drug sponsors: Somali pirates have their khat, the Taliban musketeers have their heroin, the Mahdi army has their epinephrine and now the Paki's have lsd and cocaine.

But what in the name of pharmacology is propping up our American GI's in the face of this mind bending enemy? 3.2 'near beer' and extra strength Tylenol? This is a psychotropic culture war America should be able to creatively dominate. We invented the 60's! Can't we co-opt some of our Latin American cocaine buddies like Reagan did with the Contras and turn the tables on these drug gobblin zealots? In the meantime, someone in Williamsburg please call your guy, our fighting men and women need spacefood STAT!

Who knew our homegrown epitome of debauchery the Merry Pranksters would one day become the raison d'ĂȘtre for religious psychopaths the world over. Mercy!

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A Drug For Every Age


RRRIIIIIIIIPPPP- social commentary, unrefined said...

GOOD question.. what are the troops on?

Anonymous said...

Mobilize the meth freak brigade!

Downey said...

You could smoke crack right of the heat of the rifle barrel and keep pulling the trigger all along. Who knew a bunch Kashmiri hillbillys were such brilliant ergonomists.


the running mule

the running mule