Thursday, September 28, 2006

World's Greatest Band

The Black Lips are playing tonight at the Bowery Ballroom in Manhattan. Pack a pipe, poncho and pogo stick and expect to get wasted, sprayed and tossed around. And if that doesn't sound like your of cup of pee check 'em out playing Cowboys and Indians for the big screen.

In Summation:
They’ve got three LPs and loads of singles on some of the coolest indie labels in America. They’ve toured Europe twice. They’ve been touring the States for the last six years. They’ve just become of legal age to hang out in the bars they play in. They’ve played five shows in the New York area in the last month, but call Atlanta home. They have songs called “Feeling Gay,” “Dirty Hands,” and “Everybody Loves a Cocksucker,” that alternate from Hank-drawled country, Soledad Brothers-esque blues and Stonsey rock with kerosene soaked vocals that go from yodels to screams.  They are the Black Lips, and the sooner you accept them into your life, the better off you’ll be.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Perry Caravello Day

Today is Scary Perry day. Windy City Heat the DVD has just been released and a million things are going on to celebrate it. They are:

ONE- the Perry Project’s website is going live which includes one of the stupidest blogs ever written.

TWO- we’re putting a teaser of an hour long prank call where they convince Perry to tell a prominent producer that he missed the audition because he was raped. (Perry even goes on to claim he “squoze” too tight and the bottle he was sodomized with broke in his ass.)

THREE- Hear The Big Three (Don, Mole, and Perry) on Adam Corolla’s radio show. Johnny Knoxville appears as the new Scary Perry and allows Knoxville to smash his penis in a mousetrap (click the picture to see the video) to show who is more deserving of the lead in Windy City Heat: Number 2.

FOUR- the guys at TV Carnage did a Perry thing where he substitutes Perry’s voice with The Thing from Fantastic Four because both Perry and The Thing think fedoras make you cool. Like movies?

FIVE- See The Big Three on Jimmy Kimmel Live here and here!  If that's still not enough Perry for one day you must be Randy Callahan.    

*Thanks to Dr. McInnes for this probing post!

Monday, September 25, 2006 A New Musical Anthropology

Ten or more years ago, the best example I could give you of a subset of people who wasted large chunks of their time at work fiddling with personal publications was the hardcore music “fan ‘zine” set, many of whom worked at Kinko’s simply for access to the copiers, computers and paper so crucial to their output. In recent years, that subset has expanded exponentially to include enough of the contemporary workforce that employers often now utilize office monitoring software to keep their employees off of their blogs, their Friendster and Myspace pages, and so forth. No doubt that when Michel de Certeau wrote of la perruque (basically a French idiom for “stealing from the workplace”) in The Practice of Everyday Life he had no idea how fittingly it would describe 21st century Internet usage. The concept fits so perfectly for the vast amounts of time wasted everyday at an employer’s expense that one can imagine ads for the aforementioned software quoting de Certeau directly on the box: “LA PERRUQUE IS INFILTRATING ITSELF EVERYWHERE!” And now that the broadcast of web-based blogs has replaced the narrow niche of the photocopied ‘zine [and further, that what was once “subculture” has simply become “culture”], passively and/or aggressively, we’ve become de Certeau’s “very ordinary culture” of subversives engaged in “economic diversion”, stealing company time (and bandwidth) when we think no one is looking. The list of enabling vehicles for these “uses and tactics” grows with each new Internet phenomenon: my new favorite diversion is

Even if you’ve wasted very little of your precious time on YouTube, you know what lurks there: fuzzy homemade videos of skinny emo boys punching each other in the crotch; infinite clips of half-naked 13-year old girls lip-synching to “My Humps” while rolling and shaking their own not-quite-developed humps to crappy off-camera boom boxes; shaky handheld footage of groups of guys beating the hell out of other groups of guys; stupid TV and movie parodies, re-edited with help from TiVo and iMovie; pixilated blooper reels of cows shitting on news reporters, monkeys attacking talk show hosts, and even a killer whale squashing a kayaker (fake, by the way). YouTube and its colleagues, like Putfile and Google Video, are the future (or at least the present) of a new democratic visual archive. If eBay is America’s yard sale, then YouTube is our A/V closet, and it looks a lot like an amalgamation of the Faces of Death series, America’s Funniest Home Videos, Jerry Springer, American Idol auditions, home made child porn, and the kind of footage previously only found at flea markets and thrift stores. It’s a mess, just like everything else.

But like so many closets, if you dig deeply enough you’re sure to find something interesting. Buried within the endless supplies of Numa song remakes and shitty “sponsor me” skateboard videos are some real gems: a friend of mine sent me this link ( to a clip of two Russian teens who can apparently run, jump or climb over anything, Jackie Chan-style. Or this Internet nugget ( mashing up a song from the Avenue Q musical with animation from a World of Warcraft video game. Or best of all, replacing the old ‘zine, with its poorly photocopied pictures of the Misfits or S.O.A. [to which my heart is still loyal, I might add] is an amazing, disorganized, and often equally amateurish archive of off-beat, early, or hard-to-find punk and hardcore music concert videos that people have culled from their private collections and posted to the site. If you’re willing to wade through the thousands of videos like “Alyssa and Patty Dancing Hardcore” or “Hardcore Kid on American Idol”, you’ll find a seemingly endless vein of videos by the Monks, Black Flag, the Misfits, Negative Approach, Bad Brains, Youth of Today, Naked City, Bikini Kill, Napalm Death, S.O.A., Void and so many more.

Due to the giant square pixels, overly compressed audio tracks, and various watermarks, these are certainly not archival quality pieces in online museum—but it’s all free. Like so many other inventions in the new economy, there’s no charge to host or to download the content. It is only a matter of time before some big institution steps in and messes with the site (like Napster or Myspace), but for now, it’s an interesting look into our collective psyche. Just whose psyche it is might up for grabs, though. I can’t speak for the volumes of weird homemade videos of kids dancing in their rooms or causing a scene at the mall, Jackass-style, but the music videos are obviously posted by fans—people who’ve spent a lot of time or money to collect rare videos of their favorite bands. Unlike on eBay, where collecting means hording away from everyone else, on YouTube, collecting means sharing. You can’t “keep” any of what is posted there; videos stream from the server, so you never download any actual content. And links often go bad, especially if the artist is well known (oh Prince, damnitall, please just let the world watch your 1985 American Music Awards clip whenever they need a lift!). But the specialist stuff is out there, if you’re willing to search for it. Judging by the number of hours so many have logged onto the site, apparently people are very much willing.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

This Trailer Could Be Your Life

Funny how the times change. American Hardcore is now the height of fashion more than 25 years after it broke. Expect to see Negative Approach backing Nissan Altima commercials and Youth Brigade hustling Wendy's Frosty Dairy Desserts anyday now. But who can blame them? Hardcore broke long before MTV and Blogs, so the fact that most of America is just now catching on isn't really that surprising. But can it be merely hipster irony driving this rehash, when seeing fashionistas wearing a Black Flag shirts is about as poignant an Al Jolson blanket drapped across your dad or could it be that this shit rules?

Regardless, if you know the difference between slam dancing and moshing go see this move, skank around a bit in the auditorium then rent The Decline of Western Civilization Part 1, (and only Part 1 please) Another State of Mind and We Jam Econo. Like fist fighting to the oldies?

Friday, September 15, 2006

Bindi City Heat

Windy City Heat is finally being released on DVD. How great is that you ask? Look to Gavin's loving gospel in the most recent issue of VICE Magazine, if you are still out in the cold on this classic comedy. In the world of film, copycatting is a great way to get rich without doing any work, so Thobey thought we should do a remake right away. And because of VICE's ever encroaching international visibility, India was deemed the perfect place for this celulloid rehash tentatively titled Bindi City Heat Bollywood goes Bollockswood, if you will. Think the Peter Sellers classic The Party with a hint of Chi-Town Canadian dufus on top.

With the three red headed stars pictured, this is certain to generate a sub-world of south asian, if not world-wide, resentment. However, the abilities of this new Big 3 to sing and dance with daring aplomb has already proven untetherable time and again. And besides it's a dumb white guy story to begin with so please no complaints about make-up or bad accents. Whom exactly will draw the lead dumb role as GemStone Fury is anyone's guess. Care to vote for your choice?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Old Drug Buddies

Look we don't go all out for plays but when they're about drugs and Texans there is no way we can let that mayhem slide through the well worn boards of the stage unnoticed. So tonite you have to roll over to Fat Baby on Rivington and stretch out those flabby drama muscles at the Drug Buddy Launch Party where Butthole Surfer Gibby Haynes will be DJing and Spank Rock will be performing. Could you find an event more tailor made than this to rope in a date? Simply ask the attractive person of your choice to go see the play, ok? Follow the simple instructions below and, of course, if it sucks you remain blamless. haha

Drug Buddy written by David Folwell and directed by our old chum Alex Kilgore will be playing at The Cherry Lane Theater beginning Setember 27th. For more information go to the stageFARM

For friends of VICE there are special $10 tickets for sale - simply enter the code "BUDDY" at Smarttix.

Monday, September 11, 2006

9/11: A Day Beyond Belief

There is not much more that can be said about 9/11 that smarter people haven't already. If you happened to have witnessed the shit hitting the fan firsthand, your thinking is forever your own. If you smelled the death and trudged through the waste I've nothing for you. But if you were lucky enough to have been somewhere else, this incredible video will perhaps demonstrate how ungodly and surreal the whole thing was to eyes unaccustomed to the most evil of bullshit.

Be good whenever you have the chance and beat the fascists wherever you find them.

My extended remembrance of 9/11

Friday, September 08, 2006

Politrix At Large

Rap Music is a funny thing. It is at times both provacative and stupefying, which is also an apt
description for many a political campaign. So most of us at Intern Central thought it brilliant (and perhaps a fitting end) when one of the drunken big boys headed south to curry favor from a group of rapsters destined to happily bounce a beanpole wannabe Politician out of town on his ass with grevious bodily harm. If this syrupy saga is to be believed, it seems VICE's plan to raise the South again might just work. What political intrigue is behind this cockamamie duplicity is anyone's guess. Can we please find this guy a Political Party Machine?

the running mule

the running mule