Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Kentucky Fried Hero Worship

Just in time for Christmas, the Guitar Hero Fully Loaded Box Meal is upon us. Dietary constraints and a preference for Rock Band aside, this all-american marketing ploy was tugging at my heart valves until Michael McWhertor took one for the cardiovascular team. The Guitar Hero World Tour is a themed box of crap with 59 grams of fat and 1210 calories and that's before the quart of non-alcoholic corn syrup. While alcohol's blood thinning properties would surely help balance serum cholesterol levels, drinking in dingy KFC's might have a net negative influence on customer life expectancy.

A more practical suggestion to the marketing mavens at Guitar Hero: Please consider backmasking some "pro-kentucky fried" messages in the game to advance your obvious satanic purpose. It's a dovetailing win-win situation combining the danger of the rock & roll lifestyle with the threat of KFC to our health. "The Devil Made Me Do It" might prove an apropos slogan. Lordy, if Elvis were still kicking we'd be talking about a cross promotional match made in fat ass heaven. Rock hard, arteries!

Black Metal Commercial


The Colonel said...

I have to admit that asians fry the best chicken though kentucky makes nicer bourbons.

Anonymous said...

Who says pot has no place in american corporate life? These guys must be baked all day long to come up with shit like this

Anonymous said...

I think Stevie Ray Vaughn was fueled by fried chicken, wasn't he?

Mikee said...

mr. sanders is rolling in his grave as of now!


the running mule

the running mule