After a number of lost weekends and unsuccessful business trips, the ever intrepid entrepreneur Lyndon James is back in the thick of things with a new self help project. Based on the model masterminded by Bill Wilson, Lyndon hopes to put the fun back into sobriety with this list of the things that just taste better without the tequila shot.
10 reasons to lay off the sauce for awhile
1. daily sounds start to come come back;
2. keys, wallet and cell phone are surprisingly in their proper place;
3. fewer mysterious bruises and side pains;
4. 2" come off your girth from less gas;
5. you can smell your coffee and taste food;
6. the aneurysm egg yoke in your brain is gone;
7. no more forced sexual sessions with your wife at 4:30 am
8. moisturer skin;
9. you start finding $20's in your clean laundry;
10. you will start feeling sexier about yourself....
But in a typical yet brilliant businessman hedge he has now released his list of reasons to get back on the bottle. Talk about book sales!
10 reasons NOT to lay off the sauce for awhile
1. more wild rides;
2. the night is your friend again;
3. chance encounters increase ten fold;
4. because your more fun when you do;
5. gateway adventures come into full play;
6. late night porn becomes one of your major hobbies;
7. finding lost items becomes fun and rewarding;
8. nudity becomes a natural part of your personality;
9. no more bad dreams;
10. life seems more like living..
To lay off? Or not to lay off?
And keep in mind that unlike Michael Jordan with the shoes and Lance Armstrong with the bike, Lyndon doesn't need the booze to make it happen. Roll video.