Bored With Classical Music?

The other day a friend at VICE told me that whenever he needs his classical music fix he just calls an institution certain to leave him on hold for vast tracks of time. Alone in certain customer service messaging systems you will be subjected not only to those rare, yet extended, doses of melody, harmony, rhythm, tone, and form but also to a mind boggling maze of unwanted options. The problem with this classical music for phonies approach is the endless inane commentary and contradictory advice punctuating the soothing. Being on hold is truly one of the great disasters of the modern world! Add to this the fact that you know things won't go well when you finally get through to your particular service operator or agent, and the dread can be debilitating. Well fear no more rich kids, a genius has come to our rescue. Paul English has created a cheat sheet to get you to a human representative with a quickness. Give it a try and laugh at the suckers you have pushed deeper into the pile.