Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Powdered Wigs & Back Porch Tents

This top-secret email plea for the return of a certain someone's keys and the attendant response inadvertently crossed my electronic path. Bummer, but veils of secrecy be damned here. It makes for a good read and some funny imagery but what I want to know is what happened to that shingle? Fuck those keys.

From: Lips
Date: Mon, 19 Dec 2005 10:47:50 -0800 (EST)

Hello all,

I hope Jack Frost's bite wasn’t too painful the next morning.
I awoke in a bit of a post blizzard blur upon leaving the
fandango and realized I had lost my keys. The last
time I remember using them wasn’t for driving but was
around 3:30am on the back porch under the tent.
I believe that I handed them to Stockbauer along with a
little a package of dazzle dust he poached in the handoff
return. This leads me to believe that someone, more than
likely looking like James, may have picked them up on
accident. I NEED THEM. They have a Korean swastika
and a beer opener attached. Please inform.

> From: Longbranch Chin
> Date: Mon, 19 Dec 2005 12:47:23 -0800 (EST)
> Subject: Re: MISSING KEYS

> Robin Williams stopped doing sha nay nay when
> he found himself on top of his car naked with his keys
> stuck up his ass.... your case does not seem that extreme.
> Keep looking, Lips. Could be in the most obvious place.
> Hmm?


Gina said...

little a package of dazzle dust

Watson said...

Gina, hmmmmmm.

John said...

counting down the days to austin. lord have mercy on my septum.

like walking?

Anonymous said...

hmmm...this stockbauroker guy seems like a coke head.

Rong$ said...

Why the fuck don't ya'll just buy a damn coke spoon.....

Shrek said...

Or a laddle and torch?

Anonymous said...

Click on the picture of Stockbauer; it's the best Rumor Mule rabbithole yet!

LIPS said...


Stockbauer had my keys afterall. Sharon shook them out of his Bill Blass slacks the next morning.

buscemi said...

i dont sell coke, thats illegal and eveyone knows how squeaky fucking clean i am. i do however sell coke spoons, gold razor blades and all that other freaky deaky shit. yall get with it now.


the running mule

the running mule