Oriental Club Swingers

Word on the Lorimer subway platform - infamous iPod wars zone - is that a bunch of New York University wisenheimers are trying to organize an intern union. Freeloaders' union is more like it. Their goal is to offer mediation services for intern-interner issues, as well as a forum for griping about the more confounding aspects of internship. Dear God. Their misguided albeit fervent conviction is to push through an agenda compelling university associated intern employers (see VICE) to take on only union members, and provide them with written agreements detailing responsibilities. (Get coffee, make some copies. Are they really so stupid that they need it written down?) This planned union would draw subsidies from each school and stipends - adjusted for arduousness of responsibilities - would be paid. If you want money, dear underlings, get a job. No wonder America is headed down the tubes!

So the obvious step for the Old Guard at VICE was the retainment of some vintage Molly Maguiresque union busters to counter the coming intern(al) strife. However, due to the high cost of labor in America (driven up, in part, by the ridiculous clamorings of those who should stay firmly rooted at the bottom of the feeding chain), the Big Three are looking overseas to outsource a no-nonsense gang of Taipei Club Wielding Maniacs. And, if you think about it, Asian henchmen are a natural choice for VICE after years of wielding gangs of Slinky Oriental Clubettes on arms and laps the world over.