Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Mix Master Flash In The Pan?

After eight years of the 'wicka wicka wicka' lifestyle, Dirty Dirty Dietz, VICE's wunderkind Director of Business Development, is throwing in his two technic 1200s and microphone this coming Friday at APT. Known for his needle precision and the famous Deitznutz "hamster scratch," Ben’s antics will be missed by the citywide denizens of NY’s Disco U.

We decided to survey people around the office about Dietz's impending retirement and the effect it might have on VICE's office culture in the future.

Thobey asked, “Now that Ben is done with his 'rad re-edits of obscure classics', spinning stuff that is 'really killer', serving 'fluid to get you lit', 'bringing the craziness', 'turning the drunk up', 'packing in joints from all over the spectrum', being 'so party' and what not, will he have more time to 'direct business'?”

Bryce said, “Now maybe he'll stop 'mixing the wax' in the office on the 1s and 2s. Now maybe he can start selling some tracks!”

Elhaam said, “If Ben really does quit, that means we'll never get to hear Barry Manilow's 'Copacabana' again. Unless we're all out doing karaoke somewhere with him. There's no stopping Dirty Dietz!”

Lawow said, “Ben's DJing is as soothing as the sounds of a baby orca.”

Trace said, "Dietz's skilz are mad, in fact, he is the Radmaster. As for the office, I can forsesee him busting out his wheels of steel on a Friday afternoon. But that will be kind of nice, like the oldies radio station or a Greek diner blind date. Stay alive bro!"

Jamie Farkas said, “It's not fair that John gets this as a birthday day present. It's like the best present ever. John, you have to share with the rest of us!”

John Martin said, ""Can we get a company to sponsor the retirement in perpetuity? It could be branded as a nice iteration of DJ culture for an appropriate client,vis-à-vis the status quo of turntablist parties. Maybe have the Disco D involved?"

For me, I realize that never again will I have to use any of the following lingo in a professional way with Ben: Transformer or Awesome 12" Tosser or Power Wheels or Wax Master or Selector or 1200 King or Mix Master or Blends or Fades or Beats per Minute or, most thankfully, Diggin' in da Crates.

Welcome back from the dark side buddy!

Honestly you should roll by APT late Friday night (419 w. 13th St) when Ben's drunk and playing music you might actually like. Plus it’s The Murse's BD! Come out and see if you can spot the pear-shaped shirtless guy with the dance moves of Elaine from Seinfeld.


edgar burns said...

Look don't slag Dietz, he gave me a woman to have sex with last night. That is a pal.

DJ Dirty Dietz said...

longest Mule post yet! Featuring Elhaam!


the running mule

the running mule