
Sunday, November 30, 2008
For the Last Time Hitler was Not a Monorchid

Saturday, November 29, 2008
What They Hate About Mumbai

Mumbai is all about dhandha, or transaction. From the street food vendor squatting on a sidewalk, fiercely guarding his little business, to the tycoons and their dreams of acquiring Hollywood, this city understands money and has no guilt about the getting and spending of it. I once asked a Muslim man living in a shack without indoor plumbing what kept him in the city. “Mumbai is a golden songbird,” he said. It flies quick and sly, and you’ll have to work hard to catch it, but if you do, a fabulous fortune will open up for you. The executives who congregated in the Taj Mahal hotel were chasing this golden songbird. The terrorists want to kill the songbird.
Suketu Mehta, a professor of journalism at New York University, is the author of "Maximum City: Bombay Lost and Found.”
To read the full article of What They Hate About Mumbai go to the NYT

And a piece by Christopher HitchensOur Friends in Bombay
An interesting book about life in Mumbai by
Gregory David Roberts, who obviously loves it.
Labels:
Cafe Leopold,
Gregory David Roberts,
Mumbai,
shantaram,
Suketu Mehta
Friday, November 28, 2008
UPDATE: And Another Reason To Hate The Taliban

Goldfinger's colorful crimes were endearing compared to a hardline bunch of ignorant, psychotic fiends embracing pseudo-science and fairy tales of genies and angels. Caught in the grip of Muslim orthodoxy, the Taliban champion revelation over reason and predestination over free will. Like Mao they fear educated masses more than anything and their damning of mathematics as being against Islam is just one of the ethical glitches in their arch-evil manipulation of opium market forces. You have to wonder if these charlatans in beard and robe are dark age authoritarians who just need an Ian Fleming-type PR flack spinning 'drug dealer as hero tales' from the back of the cave.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Edible Brooklynite: John McSwain


For franchise information...
PS: If you Jewish guys wanna get in on the virgin land rush, we can '86 the cheese.
There's No Place Like Home

Still everyone's place looks a bit square and sad without a flat screen television to dominate the space. How on earth did they manage? It's no wonder they became minstrels, their parents were obviously Luddites forcing them to play stringed instruments and read (gasp) books. Regardless, I bet their libraries didn't hold a candle to this mad scientist's refuge. That there is some real star power.
Labels:
David Crosby,
Donovan,
Elton John,
Eric Clapton,
Frank Zappa,
Grace Slick,
Jay Walker,
luddite,
the Jacksons
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Ruck Fussia

After reading my prediction that Zimbabwe is doomed, Russian politico Igor Panarin counters with the assertion that the USA is done for and it will soon split into 6 parts. You know what this means? More government!
Asked why he expected the U.S. to break up into separate parts, Panarin said: "A whole range of reasons. Firstly, the financial problems in the U.S. will get worse. Millions of citizens there have lost their savings. Prices and unemployment are on the rise. General Motors and Ford are on the verge of collapse, and this means that whole cities will be left without work. Governors are already insistently demanding money from the federal center. Dissatisfaction is growing, and at the moment it is only being held back by the elections and the hope that Obama can work miracles. But by spring, it will be clear that there are no miracles." He also cited the "vulnerable political setup", "lack of unified national laws", and "divisions among the elite, which have become clear in these crisis conditions." He predicted that the U.S. will break up into six parts - the Pacific coast, with its growing Chinese population; the South, with its Hispanics; Texas, where independence movements are on the rise; the Atlantic coast, with its distinct and separate mentality; five of the poorer central states with their large Native American populations; and the northern states, where the influence from Canada is strong. He even suggested that "we could claim Alaska - it was only granted on lease, after all."
Governor Palin, can't you do something about this Russian incursion into the American pysche? How stupid could we have been to let those Michiganders have control of all our cars.
Do The Collapse Zimbabwe

The Mugabe of today is an obvious tyrant living an "Emperor's New Clothes" existence. Jimmy Carter said yesterday from a news conference in Johannesburg, South Africa.
I think it's the established policy of the Mugabe government that there's no crisis in Zimbabwe. The entire basic structure in education, healthcare, feeding people, social services and sanitation has broken down. These are all indications that the crisis in Zimbabwe is much greater, much worse than we had ever imagined.

Do The Collapse is of course reference to a Guided by Voices record produced by Ric Ocasek. The album signaled GBV's ditching of the lo-fi Dayton sound for promise of the big time. Hopefully, someday Zimbabwe can ditch its lo-fi history and turn a corner to peace and prosperity but until then, don't drink the water brother!
Frontline has some incredible resources about Zimbabwe and the disasters of Mugabe
UPDATE: A death warrant has been issued with immediate effect to all Zimbabweans following the closure of major government hospitals and clinics countrywide.
Monday, November 24, 2008
The Breeders Will Have Their Say

Conservative groups as diverse as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and The National Hispanic Christian Leadership Conference are all aboard with the The Fellowship's religious factory farming initiative and are driving national birthrates sky high. These guys make old fashioned Roman Catholics look like prudes. And while good god-fearing people at home having sex with the people they love may not come as a shock they are a definite impact on the population and the political fortunes of the US. In comparison to say the lackuster mating rituals of Vermont free-thinkers, George Clooney, american intellectuals, power lesbians, computer engineers, and even those lovable lunkheads at Jackass, it would seem America is going to get more and more religious and more and more conservative as these babies come of age. So whenever you have a chance young intellectual, forgo the prophylactic and breed. Tell your gal it's for the intellectual good of the country, The floundering economy may have killed the space race but the sex race is officially on, so Mr President you better make some hay while the sun is shining or at least get in there knock boots with Michelle. Planned parenthood indeed.
Labels:
George Clooney,
jackass,
mormons,
Roman Catholics,
Vermont free-thinkers
Sunday, November 23, 2008
D.B. Cooper Outed!
Deep Throat and D.B. Cooper were the two most mysteriously elusive characters of the last half of the 20th Century. Not long after Mark Felt was fingered as Deep Throat, attorney Galen Cook is positing that Bill Gossett, an ex-Marine who lived out his days undiscovered in Oregon, was D.B. Cooper. The identity of the legendary skyjacker has eluded the vaunted FBI since he jumped from of a Boeing 727 with 200,000 dollars somewhere over Washington State on the night of November 24, 1971. The FBI has investigated over 200 suspects but none has ever been confirmed as the skyjacker and the FBI has publicly stated that they don't believe the skyjacker survived the jump. The tale of that night has since entered into the realm American Folklore and the mysterious perp emerging a legend.

According to Bill Gossett's son Greg, Gossett told his three sons he was the skyjacker and often spoke of the D.B. Cooper skyjacking even telling one of his wives that he could "write the epitaph for D.B. Cooper." Jumping from a 727 is no bullshit so it was always assumed that whomever the crazy bastard was he had some experience. Gossett indeed had parachute trained with the Marines in 1964 would have been 41 on that fateful Thanksgiving Eve 1971 when he plummeted scot free into infamy.
Now a Salt Lake City judge and friend recounts that "In 1977 he walked into my office and closed the door and said he was D.B. Cooper. I told him to keep his mouth shut and don't do anything stupid, and not to bring it up again." Gossett outfoxed the whole world by doing just that. He kept his mouth shut and didn't do anything stupid. His skyjacking remains a legendary exploit and it's about time the right guy got the credit.
Now with those two mysteries characters identified, if somebody could just tell me who the fuck Mullah Omar is I could get on with my life.
Labels:
Bill Gossett,
DB Cooper,
Deep Throat,
Galen Cook,
Mark Felt,
Mullah Omar
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Texas Is The Reason or Shoot Here

There is the extended play version of what happened on November 22, 1963 as well as the jauntier Misfits' single.
Friday, November 21, 2008
God Damn I Love the 80's

The second goodie in this afternoon's cultural grab bag is the band 80s HARDCORE who are currently making the rounds in tiny clubs filled with topless girls in Doc Martens mysteriously undiscovered by the hipsterati. They're the worlds greatest hardcore cover band. You may be thinking, fuck a cover band. But if you remember my enthusiasm for the Sex Pistols posted last month, you should know I never miss a good show even if the band is lipsynching. I don't think 80's Hardcore lypsynchs cuz they fuck of lyrics constantly but no one is sure cuz the singer (Gavin McInnes) performs with a bag over his head. Anyhow, because my dedication runs deep I'm willing to risk a visit from the FBI and post their set list here. Music licensing and chinese democracy be damned!
Cro Mags “Hard Times”
D.R.I. “Rather be Sleeping”
Minor Threat “Straight Edge”
Black Flag “Wasted”
Angry Samoans “Lights Out”
Circle Jerks “Coup D’Etat”
Fear “Livin in the City”
Descendents “I’m not a Loser”
Agnostic Front “Victim in Pain”
Black Flag “Six Pack”
Iron Cross “Crucified”
Suicidal Tendencies “Institutionalized”
Bad Brains “Right Brigade”
Check them out tonight at Cakeshop ~ 153 Ludlow in Manhattan.
FREE. And print out the OC and Stiggs page. Chicks dig em.
BONUS THROWBACK: NYC Hardcore of Yore
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tight Pussy, Loose Shoes and A Warm Place to Shit
In 1976, politician Earl Butz was asked by the right wing Republican entertainer Pat Boone why the party of Lincoln wasn't able to attract more blacks. Butz, the then US Secretary of Agriculture said "I'll tell you what the Coloreds want out of life. It's three things: first, a tight pussy; second, loose shoes; and third, a warm place to shit."
This quip sunk Butz's political ship and inspired America's creative types to make Darktown After Dark in response. Hooray for Hollywood. And amen to the Big 3!
Related Posts~
I Am Not Gay But...
Labels:
Darktown After Dark,
Earl Butz,
Loose Shoes,
Pat Boone
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
It Takes No Teeth To Eat Our Beef

Barbequed meats are the life blood of American culture and whether you prefer traditional sweet southern pork, the beefs of Central Texas' German and Czech traditions, Mexican influenced barbacoas and fajitas, or Cowboy styled muttons, Texas is ground zero. The King of Cue.
With apologies to neither vegetarians nor other regional pretenders, Calvin Trillin's piece in The New Yorker on Texas BBQ is worth ducking into, especially if the idea of beans and smoked brisket for breakfast tickles your fancy. Please tell me it tickles your fancy?
For the record here are the 50 best barbecue joints in the world.
Labels:
bbq,
Calvin Trillin,
snow's bbq,
texas monthly,
the new yorker
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Michael Pollan for Secretary of Agriculture

Ever wonder where your food comes from or how the food industry finds the awful garbage stuffed into most grocery store staples? Regardless, you need to know Michael Pollan. Give him a listen here, it's fascinating and devastating stuff.
If that isn't sexy enough for you heads out there, he's written quite glowingly about marijuana's intoxication is his book The Botany of Desire plus a super far out story for Harper's Magazine titled Opium Made Easy regarding his run in with the war on drugs and counterculturist Jim Hogshire.
To get Michael Pollan considered for the Office of Secretary of Agriculture of the United States of America, sign the petition. It's your food, stupid.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Which Way Is Up?

Either way...boo, boo, boo.
And then there's Lyndon LaRouche
Friday, November 14, 2008
A Crazed Trouble in Paradise

ID Skeleton Key
Watutsi = Tall
Hutu = Short
You can read Les's On the Front Lines in DR Congo at AJE
Labels:
al jazeera english,
congo,
hutu,
Laurent Nkunda,
les neuhaus,
Rebel for Christ,
tutsi
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Texas Sized Marathon Sex Challenge

UPDATE: The New York Times reports that Ed Young is telling his flock a week later to "Keep It Up!"
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Biting the Hand That Blings
The last person you want to click into an internet
war of wits with is Gavin McInnes. Trust me on this.
So why would an obscure Austin, Texas blogger
known as daz76 muck aboot with the wildcats of
Street Carnage? No clue. But it seems to me only a
pro lion tamer would dare throw a stick in such a cage.
Or perhaps a poet.
Dear Street Carnage Why Am I Banned?
FLASHBACK to an archived profile of Big Pinky,
the loveable ebony to Mr McInnes' ivory.
war of wits with is Gavin McInnes. Trust me on this.
So why would an obscure Austin, Texas blogger
known as daz76 muck aboot with the wildcats of
Street Carnage? No clue. But it seems to me only a
pro lion tamer would dare throw a stick in such a cage.
Or perhaps a poet.
Dear Street Carnage Why Am I Banned?
FLASHBACK to an archived profile of Big Pinky,
the loveable ebony to Mr McInnes' ivory.
Labels:
daz76,
derrick beckles,
gavin mcinnes,
street carnage
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Back In Black

The economic and financial crisis the world is now experiencing is a dream come true to the extreme-left, especially with mainstream leftist political parties unable to mount any real opposition to ruling conservatives. That brings the possibility of social unrest radical leftists may seek to exploit — or even provoke through violence of their own.
With apologies to Oliver Hardy, here's another fine mess unforeseen by the Project for the New American Century.
.
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Land of the Setting Sun

The miserable sods in the UK House of Commons want to abolish Pub Happy Hours in England and Wales. Reckless drinking is apparently stretching the police force thin. But if pub spawned disorder is suddenly a negative character trait, we're talking not only about the ruin of an Empire but the negation of the British birthright. Brits need their pints to overcome personalities obliged by society stereotyping to be polite. For me the quintessential Victorian pubmate, Harry Paget Flashman has always been the role model for British behavior.
Flashman is an antihero who runs from danger or hides cowering in fear, betrays or abandons acquaintances at at the slightest incentive, bullies and beats servants with gusto, beds every available woman, carries off any loot he can grab, gambles and boozes enthusiastically, and yet, through a combination of luck and cunning, ends acclaimed as a hero.
And despite all Flashman's inherent advantages, I fear he'd be a merely a pedestrian James Bond without the enthusiastic (bargain) boozing of Happy Hour. Drinking is clearly heroic in both cases however. So please MP's, reconsider for the good of the national character. On the other hand, I'm happy to relay that Italy is considering sanctioning the use of vigilantes. A move more holding to the course of tradition than the shortsightedness of the UK's damnable Home Affairs select committee.
Labels:
Flashman,
happy hour,
House of Commons,
James Bond
Sunday, November 09, 2008
The Holyland ~ God's Monkey House

Monks brawl at Golgotha. Again!
Jerusalem's Old City is a place lost in time and people have been throwing rocks and fists at each other there since the beginning of competitive belief. Christians have only been partaking since say the 3rd century BCE and though late to the game these monks at the Church Of The Holy Sepulcher are so bugged out about Jesus they make British soccer hooligans look like American Idol fans.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Art Bell Finally Gets His Just Deserts

Coast to Coast is still a fantastic radio program but no one will every replace Art Bell's ability to lull us to sleep with such a silky delivery, scare us to death with his demonic cackle and even interrupt our tormented dreams (due to the show's subject matter) with his hacking smokers cough. Art, we miss you.
Give Art a listen as some Texan flies into Area 51. Haha. It is awesome.
The Squandering of the Conservative Opportunity
Of all the conservative thinkers, I've always prized PJ O'Rourke above all. For starters, he worked for National Lampoon, where he deftly and repeatedly inserted nuggets of conservative thinking tinged with vice into his humor and because he's stuck to those irascibly loveable guns ever since:
"Conservatives generally tend to be funnier in their private lives because of the hypocrisy factor. I am of course a big fan of hypocrisy, because hypocrites at least know the difference between right and wrong--at any rate, know enough to lie about what they're doing. Liberals are not nearly as hypocritical as conservatives, because they don't know the difference between right and wrong. In public policy liberals are always much more hilarious. Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid."
In a Weekly Standard piece titled We Blew It, O'Rourke begins "Let us bend over and kiss our ass goodbye. Our 28-year conservative opportunity to fix the moral and practical boundaries of government is gone--gone with the bear market and the Bear Stearns and the bear that's headed off to do you-know-what in the woods on our philosophy."
PJ O'Rourke is still the master so sit down, shut up and read him before its too late.

In a Weekly Standard piece titled We Blew It, O'Rourke begins "Let us bend over and kiss our ass goodbye. Our 28-year conservative opportunity to fix the moral and practical boundaries of government is gone--gone with the bear market and the Bear Stearns and the bear that's headed off to do you-know-what in the woods on our philosophy."
PJ O'Rourke is still the master so sit down, shut up and read him before its too late.
Labels:
conservative,
national lampoon,
PJ O'Rourke,
Weekly Standard
Friday, November 07, 2008
Lost and Found and Lost Again Weekends
The must attend event of the weekend if you have kids and a drinking problem is the Miss Pussycat Art Opening at Live With Animals in Williamsburg. Miss P, aka Panacea Theriac, is a New Orleans based puppeteer and the sexier half of the wild musical duo Quintron and Miss Pussycat. In addition to the display of her vast collection, there will be a live puppet performance of "The Mystery at Squirrel Ranch." Adult beverages are a must.
NOTE: Her puppet shows are revelatory so I suggest you get there early, as in 7pm on Saturday the 8th.
Trixie and the Tree Trunks produced by Gabe Soria

BONUS: Quintron and Miss Pussycat are playing the record release party for the their new album Too Thirsty 4 Love out on Goner Records at Santos Party House on Monday the 10th. Another rocking freak-out money-back guarantee presented by the Empresario.
NOTE: Her puppet shows are revelatory so I suggest you get there early, as in 7pm on Saturday the 8th.
Trixie and the Tree Trunks produced by Gabe Soria

BONUS: Quintron and Miss Pussycat are playing the record release party for the their new album Too Thirsty 4 Love out on Goner Records at Santos Party House on Monday the 10th. Another rocking freak-out money-back guarantee presented by the Empresario.
Has Kim Jong Il Left the Building?

You may wonder in a place so lost in time where does one find digital tricksters. As Guy Delisle showed, in his great graphic novel Pyongyang: A Journey in North Korea, these guys are an animation superpower. So maybe a crafty Simpsons cartoonist snuck a pirated Photoshop 2.0 into "The Land of the Morning Calm." All said, the machinations of North Korea are wildly obtuse. Just where in the hell is KIm Kim Jong Il is anybody's guess. And if he's dead or incapacitated who's the ruling force striding the darkened hallways of the Grand People's Cultural Palace? Could it be the other mysteriously missing world leader, Scottish musician Gerry Rafferty is lending a hand?
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Political Life Imitating Art
All the post-election elation reminds me of a classic coming of age movie from an earlier decade. The innocence of Another State of Mind's aspirations was infectious to a generation of musicians in the 80's and served for the rise of alternative music as mainstream. Small bands of like minded kids giving completely of themselves, whether artistically or politically, has some resonance in Obama's hopeful hoards of young people working for change in the stagnant American political landscape.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Wild In The Streets: Here, There & Everywhere
There & Everywhere else: Fort Greene-Brooklyn, Seattle, Austin, San Francisco, Boulder, New Brunswick, Oakland, Philadelphia, Gainesville, Los Angeles, Boston, Manhattan, Portland, Atlanta, Cambridge, Madison, Richmond, Baltimore, Santa Cruz, and Washington DC.
From the New York Times:
So Hip and So Loud, and Stirring Up Williamsburg
-OR-
How Gavin McInnes Remade Williamsburg in His Own Image
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Wild in the Streets


Plus, New York Night Train Empresario, Jonathan Toubin will be hosting his own debaucherous election night fandango in Williamsburg at one of our favorite bars, Daddy's. But bring your fiddle in case the whole place catches fire. If it's good enough for Nero, its good enough for the Rogers Sisters.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Goodnight Opus

The final panel of the Sunday comic strip Opus was revealed yesterday and somehow with the pervasive nuttiness of politics and life, I missed it. I've been a fan of the penguin Opus since spotting Bloom County back on a 1980's University of Texas campus filled with Steve Dallas look-alikes.
Berkeley Breathed told Salon he's ducking out of cartooning because he fears the nastiness of politics seeping into the strip. So little Opus has been put to bed for the last time, albeit in a picture perfect finale, leaving me and all the other Steve Dallas look-alikes not quite believing we missed Opus' goodbye and sadly certain we'll miss the Sunday morning get togethers from here on out. Click the picture for the final revel.
Sleep tight Opus.
God's Gift To Politics

This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: It has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman [Sarah Palin] who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus. Those who despise science and learning are not anti-elitist. They are morally and intellectually slothful people who are secretly envious of the educated and the cultured. And those who prate of spiritual warfare and demons are not just "people of faith" but theocratic bullies. On Nov. 4, anyone who cares for the Constitution has a clear duty to repudiate this wickedness and stupidity.
~ Christopher Hitchens
What is the gift of the gods to which the subject refers? The return of Chris Hitchen's sanity perhaps or if you like Sarah Palin's emerging political prominence. It's your choice. Regardless, the first Tuesday of November is nearly upon us, so pray to the god of your covenience and keep your fingers crossed. After all tomorrow is another day.
Gaze of the Dead

Posted by
A. Brown
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Skateboarding Is A Crime

Saturday, November 01, 2008
Bye Bye Chucky

On October 30th, Chucky Taylor was found guilty in US Federal Court of conspiracy to commit assassination and torture in the West African nation of Liberia. Taylor will be sentenced in January and faces life behind bars. Guilty here of torture in foreign lands? Read American Warlord, Johnny Dwyer's Rolling Stone piece about how the son of Africa's most prominent warlord improbably morphed from an ordinary suburban teenager into the first U.S. citizen on trial for torture committed abroad. It's a classic "Like Father, Like Son" tale that should put a nice All Saint's Day fright into you.

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