What Would Jack Ruby Do?

What the fuck was Ruby thinking?

Texas Is The Reason or Shoot Here

An old man told me that growing up in Dallas his 1st birthday party just happened to be on the very day John F Kennedy was assassinated across town. He strongly remembered all the mothers crying around the television and the party ending abruptly with his father cleaning his rifle. Since then theories have abounded about what happened to JFK on November in Dealey Plaza and his birthdays have always been a bit of a bummer. Thanks for the anniversary, Texas.



There is the extended play version of what happened on November 22, 1963 as well as the jauntier Misfits' single.

Lyndon Baines Johnson

Today is the 100th anniversary of the birth of LBJ, one of the great political dazzlers of all time. A genuine hard-ass, hell-raisin' Texas sumbitch. Without him, Obama wouldn't have a chance at even eyeing the prize currently within his grasp but rarely does LBJ get mentioned much these days. George Packer of the New Yorker recalls the man who with faults galore still tried to do Civil Rights and MLK justice. Cat was truly larger than life. His deeds as President make JFK's pale in comparison.

I nominate August 27th LBJ Day-- a no shit taking holiday.

Ich Bin Ein Berliner

The story is that when JFK said, "Ich bin ein Berliner" in 1963, he was actually saying, "I am a jelly donut." True. And in a strange coicidence, when I think about myself in comparison to Berliners, that is exactly how I feel, just like JFK, just like a pathetic little glazed donut hole. You see the legendary Weimar Republic's run of icy decadence, so enjoyed by my forefathers, couldn't be more tailor-made, from debauched massage parlors to sex clubs to cabarets to private torture dungeons. A world on the brink of disaster? Don't ask -- I'm in. But this 21st century German shit is sending some prophetic shivers up my neck bone. The boys from the VICE office in Berlin recently invited a big wig from NYC over for a visit. Here was the pitch, as I understand it. Feel like catching?

When you're in Berlin, I’ll take you to one of the hundreds of illegal pit-bull fights organized by these Turkish dudes every weekend. They also organize bare knuckle fights and ninja fights (they dress like real ninjas but they're all Turkish) In a good night, you can find dog fight, bare knuckle and ninja fight and thousands of euros in between. Also there is the Gaystapo, the Nazi homo skinheads that organize bareback parties where they beat the shit out of each other. And burqas to boot!

Ho Chi Minh! Berlin makes New York City look like Colorado Springs. If this night on the town scenario seems your cup of tea, forgo the London office of Capper & Creighton and head straight to Berlin. And tell Hector and Benjamin, Mephistopheles sent you.