D.B. Cooper Outed!

Deep Throat and D.B. Cooper were the two most mysteriously elusive characters of the last half of the 20th Century. Not long after Mark Felt was fingered as Deep Throat, attorney Galen Cook is positing that Bill Gossett, an ex-Marine who lived out his days undiscovered in Oregon, was D.B. Cooper. The identity of the legendary skyjacker has eluded the vaunted FBI since he jumped from of a Boeing 727 with 200,000 dollars somewhere over Washington State on the night of November 24, 1971. The FBI has investigated over 200 suspects but none has ever been confirmed as the skyjacker and the FBI has publicly stated that they don't believe the skyjacker survived the jump. The tale of that night has since entered into the realm American Folklore and the mysterious perp emerging a legend.

But Cook begs to differ and can be heard here a few months ago discussing the case. Since then he's named Bill Gossett as his definitive pick for the real D.B. Cooper.

According to Bill Gossett's son Greg, Gossett told his three sons he was the skyjacker and often spoke of the D.B. Cooper skyjacking even telling one of his wives that he could "write the epitaph for D.B. Cooper." Jumping from a 727 is no bullshit so it was always assumed that whomever the crazy bastard was he had some experience. Gossett indeed had parachute trained with the Marines in 1964 would have been 41 on that fateful Thanksgiving Eve 1971 when he plummeted scot free into infamy.

Now a Salt Lake City judge and friend recounts that "In 1977 he walked into my office and closed the door and said he was D.B. Cooper. I told him to keep his mouth shut and don't do anything stupid, and not to bring it up again." Gossett outfoxed the whole world by doing just that. He kept his mouth shut and didn't do anything stupid. His skyjacking remains a legendary exploit and it's about time the right guy got the credit.

Now with those two mysteries characters identified, if somebody could just tell me who the fuck Mullah Omar is I could get on with my life.