the only absolute is that the truth is hidden elsewhere

But you might try here!

The Heroic Evil

Nat Cole's Nature Boy

In 1948, Nat King Cole had a hit song written by a mysterious long-haired wanderer living under the L in the Hollywood Sign. A hippie before hippies existed, eden hbez went so far as refuse to use capital letters in names because he didn't feel like mankind was worthy of using them. So when Nat Cole and eden hbez did meet, let's just say it was a made for TV moment. Watch them tell the story of "Nature Boy" getting recorded. Part 2 of the video is a trip with Cole and his hippie muse reading from scripts unaware that this early TV moment would mark the birth of the ginormous 'Nature Boy' industry that dominates markets to this day.


Related Posts~
The Loco Gringos
The Black Lips are Riotous

A Good Postmodernist Is Hard To Find

Although Borges could justifiably be considered the most erudite writer of this century, his works frequently provide the reader with moments of intact emotion or simple entertainment. Fantastic ontologies, synchronic genealogies, utopian grammars, fictional geographies, multiple universal histories, logical bestiaries, ornithological syllogisms, narrative ethics, imaginary mathematics, theological thrillers, nostalgic geometries and invented remembrances, are part of the huge landscape Borges' works offer both to the academic scholar and the casual reader. And over all things, the philosophy, conceived as perplexity, the thought as conjecture, and the poetry as the deepest form of rationality.

Disgusted?

Why do meat-eating men and women love shoulders, but not lips? Ribs, but not ears? Chowing down on pig’s feet causes many to recoil, yet cheese that smells like feet is delectable? There’s often a disconnect between our taste in food and the taste of food, and that’s just one of the topics celebrity chef Mario Batali and University of Pennsylvania professor Paul Rozin discussed earlier this month during a conversation about disgust. A follow up with even more wild talk of munching nuts is hilarious and quite appetizing. (via WNYC)

Related Posts~
The Proof Is In The Blood Puddin'

Factory: Musicians Are All Tossers

This is the story of how a TV presenter, an out of work actor, an art student, a DJ and an aspiring record producer pioneered Britain's independent pop culture and that's a FACT.

Kill The Messenger

Most Americans have never heard of Sibel Edmonds, and if the U.S. government has its way, they never will. A Turkish-American, Edmonds was hired as a translator by the FBI shortly after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 because of her knowledge of Middle Eastern languages. She was fired less than a year later in March 2002 for reporting shoddy work and security breaches to her supervisors that she felt could have prevented the attacks. An interesting analysis by former CIA Officer Philip Giraldican be found at The American Conservative.

The bombshell Edmonds keeps dropping is that the US maintained 'intimate relations' with Bin Laden, and the Taliban, all the way until that day of September 11. These included using Bin Laden for operations in Central Asia, including Xinjiang, China. These operations involved using al Qaeda and the Taliban in the same manner as we had during the Afghan and Soviet conflict, that is, fighting enemies via proxies. Not really so surprising but there is more to the story, I'm not sure what it all means, but you should give it a read at today's Daily Kos if you like talking shop.

Related Posts~
The Unending War On (a) Terrible Notion

Stockbauer: Sui Generis

James Stockbauer is a genius. Trust me. His light just shines a little brighter and his dazzle runs a little deeper than your typical hipster. You can probably spot him in the picture.

But what specifically makes him so special, you ask? Well, David Cross hates him, he's a messiah to hundreds, and he single handedly invented modern Tourist-Businessmanship. After a contentious period between us, involving a drunken cab ride from NYC to Philadelphia, a slew of litigious mexican mall-lawyers and the oh so problematic Operation Condor prank, he's back sharing his wisdom with The Running Mule. Enjoy him on Twitter @stockbauer as well.

Travel Tips - Lesson #1: The Airport

Repetitive, obvious tips from flunky Yahoo sites and newsreels abound. Apply sunscreen and pump gas after 6pm? That's the predictable drivel keeping lame brains like Rick Steves and Tony Bourdain in business. Here's some real world advice accumulated by a successful Tourist-Businessman on the make. Don't leave home without it.

10. Skip Cinabun, prezzel shops and fatty eateries at the airport. They slow the heart and mind. Grab an apple and some flying V's (Vivarin) at the gift shop and hit the water fountain. You will be real-time streaming through the airport with ease; Don't risk your trip or a felony by trying to sneak in BC powders or other lame disco danders onto planes or fleet vehicles.

9. Pre-navigate your next gate departure in two simple ways. Tear your destination airport plan out of the back of airline courtesy magazine. Once off the plane ask tons of questions of the airline employee with the clipboard. Confirm future gate is correct. Time permitting, plot by hand your course, noting time and airport bars along the way. Stop for a spell and have one drink at each of a few drinking holes. Don't seem hurried, lounge like you are really staying awhile so you get better service. Have a fat money clip out on the bar at all times. Fat Cats do this and get fine service all the time. Bartenders salivate over cash and can't wait to get off the JOB and burn a few so they will notice this at once. Don't look rotund and lame with your tie undone and shirt pulled out of trousers. These are looser businessman that have failed deals and lives.

8. Spend $400 a year fee on a decent credit card and don't travel with cheap reward gift cards or lame debit cards that show you are ghetto. AMEX Platnum or Plum are best since you get to use the executive lounge for free! And the luxuries just start to unfold. No more having to look at unkept Puerto Ricans or low- jean wearing numbsculls struggling to travel. You will have a polite smile and "Mr. Right, right this way" and off to the bar. Take your iPhone off airplane mode and set to Wi-Fi and start to suck up bandwidth. Play porn in one of many private executive covies, or Twitter till your hearts delight. Drinks are free and you may not have much time so go with drinks that contain multiple top shelf hooches. Grand Marnier, Stoli, and Dramboui,? Why the hell not! You are getting drunk, not trying to hold a stylish drink. Hit the bathrooms where you will be lathered by well dress attendants to your every desire. Fresh towels, mists, fragrances, and toiletries abound. Hit the snack counter for Swiss baby cow cheeses, exotic table crackers, cattered cookies and the like. Grab a banana for the road they don't care. Airport lounge employees have the best job in the world. They pool tips on free drinks and their customer have class and appreciate their services.

7. Smile widely at all cute women they will remember you; Who knows if you are single you may get real lucky and sit next to one on your other leg;

6. Carry multiple business cards for every conceivable business angle. Industrial sales, financial consulting, retail associate, rolphing specialist, and misc services. Pop these on prospects you may believe to have some future chance of bringing you wealth. Your are not lying, you are just flexible. Rich people like to talk to other rich people and notice even the smallest details. Set your self apart by investing in really nice shoes that are well shinned. Don't buy cheap mall shoes they will cost your more than you have saved believe me. People size you up from the bottom up so don't be a dump in this department. Also that smartly placed lapel pin or studded cuff link can be the sparkle in the eye of a future rich buddy:

5. Always join "Gold this" and "Gold that" memberships especially at rental car agencies. Once again you will skip stupid lines where stupid people wait. They will always drop "you" off first on the shuttle while other lame - o's sit there and watch them fetch your expensive and important luggage, and then take you straight to your luxury car that is already running with the keys in it and a mint on the dash; Enough to make OJ blush.

4. Don't be shy of Airport Hotels. They are right there and are the same damn hotel you might use in another ugly and useless part of the connecting city. Besides you can get a 30 minute wake up call prior to departure and get every hangover minute of sleep you can. Set ice bucket, small airplane bottles of booze and a mixer right by the phone ready to be made quickly on your way out. No one ever suspects an 8 am drinker with a orange colored beverage.

3. Cut hair very short or go bald and have no hair at all. Hair has cost many a delayed flight, careers and /or business deals. People don't care about other peoples' hair, just their own. The ones that fiddle with it are loosing money every second and are vain ninnies.

2. Walk fast on moving floor trams and stay left. Always bark ahead at the assholes on the wrong side blocking your way. People are paranoid at airports and will rarely put up a fuss or try to wrangle with you. Take advantage of this and alway be very aggressive. Time is money and some people just burn it. Don't even let handicap people break the rules. We are all human and have places to go.

1. Save our water resources. Don't waste more time and Never worry about washing hands after using the Jon. You already have your handsanitizer and that's what it's for. Sans Swine flu boyz!

Related Posts~
End Of Another Era
Blushing Babe

Have Beer We'll Talk

Former President Lyndon Baines Johnson loved to take reporters on "speed and beer" drives around his Texas ranch. Talking politics while drinking Lone Star beer and flying across the countryside in a Cadillac convertible was the way he brought disparate points of view together. The cadgy old bastard liked a captive audience. When a reporter once complained about how fast the President was driving he simply covered up the speedometer with his hat. President Obama could do the same tomorrow at the Gates-Crowley Pow-Wow but without a proper "Open Road" Stetson for coverage, Crowley would probably have to arrest him.

Related Posts~
It Takes No Teeth To Eat Our Beef
The Proverbial Turd Blossom
America's Funniest Team: The Dallas Cowboys

Death By Misadventure: Malcolm Lowery

If you've read Under the Volcano, this documentary will trip you further fucking out. If you've ever been blind drunk on mezcal, you'll empathize with the boozy excesses and if, per chance, you're a muscle-bound, chronically constipated lad with a laughably tiny penis, Volcano: An Inquiry into the Life and Death of Malcolm Lowry, may very well spiral you down the very same nightmarish path below Popocatepetl. It's that crazy a flick.

Called by some the "Ulysses for Alcoholics," Under the Volcano is a monster of a book. I think it true Lowry was a more profligate drunkard than even the boozehound Joyce but to my mind his might just be the better book and therefore deserves it's own headlines. Give Under the Volcano a whirl with plenty of gin and ice and xanex and if you make it through the night, call me in the morning. We'll get some more gin.

Malcolm Lowry
Late of the Bowery
His prose was flowery
And often glowery
He lived, nightly, and drank, daily,
And died playing the ukelele.

Related Posts~
Klaus Kinski is a Fun Guy
Better Hitting Through Chemistry

The Sway of the City

Gathering Of The Juggalos

I am not sure what Rockville, IL has done to deserve this but clear your schedules losers. The location of The 10th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos has been announced and it's just a few weeks off. Over the years, the Juggalos have had to secret The Gatherings' location, so no one gets wind in advance. People can't stand these guys and until the date and location is announced, it's like Heisenberg's Principle of Uncertainty waiting to be flash mobbed. Obama's election may have cooled the nation's hate jets a bit but it's still perfectly acceptable to discriminate against a weekends worth of Juggalos.

When Violet J of the Insane Clown Posse describes the experience of attending the Gathering of the Juggalos for the first time, it makes me sad, I'm not into it

It sort of like, what I imagine it's like, for Muslims to visit the holy land of Mecca, that's what I'd imagine it would feel like, for a Juggalo to visit the gathering.

That sounds cool but I don't think I could even fake it. One of my all-time heroes, Richard Francis Burton, was a great faker. He was the first white man to cage his way into Mecca. Thomas Morton, on the other hand, was the first journalist crazy enough to immerse himself in Juggalo culture. Read about his experience at the Gathering 2007, let it inspire you, then grow some balls and get there, ninja. You'll be welcome to as many free cheeseburgers and hot dogs as your fat ass can handle.

Ward Sutton Makes the Case for Posters as Art (Or Junk)

Pub Man

Of all English institutions, the one to count on would surely be the pub. Shelter to Chaucer’s pilgrims, home to Falstaff and Hal, throne of felicity to Dr. Johnson, the pub — that smoky, yeasty den of jollity — is the womb of Englishness, if anywhere is. Yet in the midst of this national identity crisis, the pub, the mainstay of English life, a staff driven down into the sump of history, old as the Saxons, is suddenly dying and evolving at equal rates. Closing at something like a rate of more than three a day, pubs have become scarce enough that for the first time since the Domesday Book, more than half the villages in England no longer have one. It’s a rare pub that still thrives, or even limps on, by being what it was meant to be: a drinking establishment. The old idea of a pub as a place for a “session,” a lengthy, restful, increasingly tipsy evening of swigging, is all but defunct.

Related Posts~
The Land of the Setting Sun

Does A Bear Drink Alone in Woods?

When said bear is on the property of Gavin,
the answer is undoubtedly no.

Giant Steps Are What You Take

Forty years ago today, I was in Houston with my mom and pop watching footage of Apollo 11 on a B&W broadcast tv. It was heady stuff for a 1st grader. Neil Armstrong's words to Mission Control from the lunar surface, "Houston, The Eagle has landed," have been hardwired into my vernacular ever since. Doubts are also hardwired in my thinking so if the moon landing was faked, I'll be damned.

In that vein, I find Richard Hoagland's moon talk a-go-go endlessly entertaining and sometimes pretty smart. I'm not offended that he thinks I didn't see what I saw. Though Buzz Aldrin might be. Here's Hoagland talking dark missions.



While his insane double speak is beguiling, ultimately it remains a flawed, however fervent, fraud. If you're watching the video be patient, he'll get there, just be prepared to embrace your inner Moon Unit Zapata. Giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon. Happy Anniversary to all.

Related Posts~
We Chose the Moon
Art Bell Finally Gets His Just Deserts

The Brink Of Apocalypse

On November 8, 1983 World War III almost erupted by accident. That evening, Ronnie Raygun's cowboy schtick convinced the old ass bastards in Moscow an imminent nuclear attack by the West was in the cards. Soviet fingers hovered over the nuclear button as their mammoth fucking arsenal of missiles, bombers and submarines were put on maximum alert in anticipation of a full-scale retaliatory attack. Demented authoritarian cocksuckers on high alert are not a laughing matter. (see Kim Jong Il) Thankfully cool heads and a couple of double agents combined to avert the war games about to go mad scenario. This amazing flick set to a jaunty 80's soundtrack brings to life the very real moment when everything nearly went up in radioactive smoke.

Related Posts~
Dead Souls: Not Just A Pop Culture Reference
Has Kim Jong Il Left the Building?
The Spy Who Came In For The Gold
Vodka Baths and Secret Police Dreams

Pie Of Life

Rob Patronite and Robin Raisfeld have unleashed their long-in-the-works survey of the new wave of pizza parlors in The Great New York Neoclassical Neapolitan Pizza Revolution. Check the Top 20 pies and read the tweaked out yet fascinating profile of the latest and greatest pizza savant, Anthony Mangieri of Una Pizza Napoletana. Then give baking Jim Lahey’s No-Knead Pizza Margherita a whirl cuz pizza this good fucking rules.

Related Posts~
The Pizza Pie Conspiracy

We Chose the Moon

The JFK Library and Museum has just launched an interactive web experience using archival audio, video, photos, and recorded transmissions to re-create, in real time, the July 16, 1969, Apollo 11 mission to the moon. Houston, We Chose the Moon is damn nifty.

The League of Ceiling Starers: Dopes on Bikes

Bike racing in Europe is what boxing is in the States -- a poor kid's way out. A chimney sweep won the first Tour de France, and since then honors have gone to carpenters, plumbers, bricklayers, welders, baker's apprentices and metalworking trainees. (One of the greatest, Italy's Fausto Coppi, wasn't even a butcher, but an errand boy for a butcher, which is how he learned his way with a bike.) The European peloton is a clan with a code, a sweatshop on wheels that doubles as a testing lab for designer doping products. Fans make the biggest heroes of those who suffer most; the founder of the Tour, Henri Desgranges, believed that the ideal race would be one survived by a single rider. If these hero-sufferers take drugs, goes the continental line of thinking, it's because no one can be expected to survive such an ordeal without palliatives, and besides, cheating has been woven into the Tour since its second staging in 1904, when the winner of the first, that chimney sweep, hopped a train for part of the route.

Why are Americans outraged by riders doping to gain edge when European fans expect it and I love it? Read Alexander Wolff. Liberte. Egalite. Fraternite.

Related Posts~
Better Hitting Through Chemistry
Coasting Is Not A Crime
Jacked To The Gills