Hey kids tired of not being able to get into clubs because you look too young? Has your baby face impeded your ability to purchase beer or wine at your favorite liquor store. Well you are in luck because the Running Mule has come up with a fool proof plan to get you into bars and down with strippers, or peelers as they are affectionately referred to in Canada.
Simply get the same shears that EVERYONE uses to shave their head with and cut out this simple pattern. In the enclaves of black market viagra and double strength propecia this is known as the male baldness pattern. It's a hairdo guaranteed to put at least 16 years on you and no one will ever expect it's phony. I mean guys are way too uptight to ever do something like this on purpose. Give it a try and lets us know how it works out.
Oh, and the part about the strippers. These girls love to take their clothes off for old impotent men. Guys with tons of dough, bad combovers, and limited penile functionality are truly the rock stars of strip clubs the world over. All you have to do to woo your favorite peeler is sweep up the clippings that formerly resided on the top of your head, tape and/or glue them together in a pattern reminiscent of a toupee, don’t worry it will look bad enough and therefore real enough no matter how you do it. Once your mock toupee is formed and installed by some adhesive means to your head cruise over to your local silicon purveyor order a Cutty Sark and settle in for the titty bar experience of a lifetime. War Sugardaddies!