Friday, April 21, 2006

Stay Outta MySpace

The very fabric of the VICE brand is predicated on the young, the social and the attractive. It's no surprise, then, that the said VICE brand employs the crème de la crème of hipster socialites with good genes. Minus a couple that slipped through the cracks (presumably hired for their ad sales prowess rather than their diminutive looks), the majority of VICE staffers are easy on the eyes. Even one of the Big Three was rumored to have doled out pink slips to employees that weren't attractive enough. It was maintained that your physical appearance falls directly in line with brand integrity.

And who knows brand integrity and attractiveness better than VICE's very own Canadian Marketing Manager Ryan Archibald? The strapping young Archie, already known for being "smoother than a gravy sandwich", has taken "networking" and "romance" to a whole new level. With a MySpace profile that boasts a Top 8 consisting of all-female Vice/Addvice employees, it's safe to assume that Mr. Archibald is on the prowl. And not for the next Dov Charney.

The most recent exchange was a steamy-make-you-blush chain of messages to a very amorous and very New York-stationed addvice staffer professing his love for all things VICE, but more importantly, all things female. One can only wonder where this will lead. More secret trips to the Rotten Apple? Dedicated online radio playlists? Romantic walks in the park? Who knows? But it does beg this question: how do the other Top 7 VICE females feel about this? From his west coast cutie right down to addvice's head honcho, it’s safe to say this recent succession of events will leave a sour taste in many mouths...amongst other things. Like jealousy?


Gina Gold said...

Um, hi last week.

Nice to see you again.

File under:
Old newz

john said...

never forget san diego, september 2003. an important night for many different reasons

Intern L. Gossip said...

This post was held up by legal as the proper releases could not be attained due to MySpace privacy issues. Like private lives?

Nick Chink said...

First romance was surprising. Second time is comical. Third time and its a pattern.

who cares, no one bothers to talk to me anyway said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh wait.. this isn't funny. Myspace isn't funny. Come on, these fabricated stories need to start getting good!
If you can't make up anything better at least go back to the "Who took a poop in the office?" stuff.

alex said...

i would like my name stricken from list please. oh, god what have i done....

Ryan said...

Do I ever not 'get' myspace. I have a job and responsibilites, and having fun with 'real' friends, where do you get the time for all this internet back rubbing like you're all on e?
My favorite part on myspace is "Cool New People." So many reasons. So easy to find cool new friends, they're right there in front of you, in your face.
Besides reading my hilarious page (this was an amazing prank), I've only been on myspace 5 times: once to confirm it to be what it is, and 4 times to check out bands. Guess what? They all sucked.
Yes I work for VICE, I'm a hater cause it's cool, I think. No seriously, I just don't 'get' it. Not for me.
I'm a nice guy, really. I'm just still holding a little grudge from this violation.
To my 147 friends, I bid you a farewell. It's been neat.
But I can't wait to start my own page for real in 6 years.

Anonymous said...

hah - the profile is gone!

roedridds said...

woah its like page 6ish


the running mule

the running mule