The Kissing Bandit

Billy Moore is the latest in a long line of love 'em and leave 'em male VICE interns. By official count, he has now made out with six interns and one gainfully employed addVice babe. Whoever can correctly name the lucky gals who have tickled Bensonhurst Bill's golden tonsils will win one bottle of wine from Thobey's wine cellar and a free trip to the nearest automated photo booth for a reenactment. Like making out? Play Bill's guessing game.

End Of Another Era

For years James Stockbauer used to have parties during SXSW but alas it appears that bit of insanity has gone the way of so many good things in Austin. Now that he owns a a burgeoning bar empire, home entertaining has become a bit of a bother and 80 bucks won't get you the friends it used to. So I'll just say it, Party Cancelled. Some fantastic times were had at his Victorian Splendor and it's a sad bit of news to report but the show must go on-- it's just gonna have to go on over there a ways.

UPDATE: Some new and exciting research may lend light to the real reason this party was cancelled. Like jumping to conclusions?

Beer Babes

Whenever you go to a party you should always look for the chicks drinking beer first. They are easier to deal with and more fun than girls who insist upon drinking premium vodka. (The only exception is if the vodka is being consumed as Jello shots. Just count to 10, throw these babes on your shoulder--one on each--and lurch back to your cave.) In general, beer drinkers eat less healthier than wine drinkers, so buying her dinner will cost a fraction. Plus, how dazzling do they look when backdropped with cases upon cases of PBR? Beer drinking from bottles or cans is preferred, or cups only in the case of a kegger. However, if your mark has poured her beer from the bottle into a cup, best to steer clear. Too much maintenance already, and you know she is the type who travels with three knock-off Burberry roller suitcases instead of just a toothbrush. Girls who are pouring the beer from the keg are worth their weight in gold. Chances are, she'll be up for bringing you coffee in bed.

VICE Records Goes Reggae?

Why is it that so many people who dig popular music love to get up on the weed? You worry sometimes that A&R gurus are so stoned when they see bands that they will sign anyone with a chick in the band and a spare e-z wider. But when recording studios turn into grow rooms you know that either these guys love reggae more than is healthy or their thumbs are so green that even a few spilt seeds lead to cash crops of unprecedented potency and lushness. Like horticulture?

Feliz Cumpleaños

The editor of VICE Germany, Hector Muelas, celebrated his birthday last night in Berlin with some of that nasty Chinese liquor that makes the world seem to warble at the knees. The party included the usual German pratfalls of nudity and senseless jokes. What may immediately jump out at you about our german mainstay is that Hector is Spanish as opposed to German but then again he's a filmmaker by trade and his red pencil work is merely a small part of what makes him a MySpace favorite worldwide. ¿Como trabajos múltiple?

Outsourcerers Abroad

One upon a time Jake Burghart, David Cross, Trace Crutchfield and Gavin Miles McInnes went to China to launch an apple pie manufacturing venture. You may be surprised to see how things turned out.

Narcissists and Oral Fixations: Heady Days at addVice Marketing Services

Who knows what is in the water over there, but something, um, fishy is going on for sure! Our online operatives have sent us this great screengrab of the addVice Cinderella's musical proclivities. Like coke-fueled egomania? Suck this.

POSTED BY: John Martin

Wedding Bell Curves

Spotted at the VICE Brodeo in San Diego was our second favourite Jamaican Asian / Semetic couple, Jill Meisner and VICE's Nick Yin-Chen. We won't comment on his expression, but just check out the look on her face! She's picturing 3 children with perfect teeth, a two bathroom apartment on Gramercy Park and summers in the Hamptons. In a room full of gay cowboys, she really zeroed in on a winner. Emphasis on the ZERO. Like matrimony?

Happy Hunting Honey

So VICE UK editor Andy Capper, the tall bastard in the middle, had his birthday on February 14th, but no one seems to have noticed. If a birthday candle is burning in the wind and no one sees it, well, you get the obtuse point. It's sad, but sometimes couples forget these things in the hustle and bustle of the modern world. The only hitch is that when your birthday falls on Valentine's Day, it seems unlikely a woman would forget. Don't you imagine? This seems one of the biggest arguments against same sex marriages or relationships so centered on debauchery and financial success that you forget to even tell each other your last names before the pregnancies and private school tuitions roll in, forever inuring yourself to a life of forgotten occasions and missed Valentines. Ain't love grand!

International Date Lines

Sometimes flying around the world can make you crazy with jet lag and at other times it has no effect whatsoever. These three maginificent specimens were spotted after a long trip bogged down unexpectedly in cosmopolitan San Francisco. Seen shirtless and a bit stunned at the notorious EndUp at three on a Friday afternoon, one instantly wonders whether they had been up all night or were they merely getting an early jump on Friday evening? I don't know. But I do know that the EndUp is a gay bar open virtually non-stop and well known throughout "the community" as a clearinghouse for east asian crystal meth. The good stuff, you know, vice without the v, a particular blend of go-fast that will have you so wired for so long that the mere sight of a bed will elicit howls of delerious laughter from a user. What these three clean cut kids were looking for or how long they struggled against the prevailing winds of the EndUp are questions beyond the reach of this intern's table. Like blurred lines?

Shanghaied in Shanghai

China is real humdinger of a place. The television is full of the most absurd cartoon characterizations, the streets are teaming with stuff that can turn even studly videographers into sci-fi warlords and every menu is replete with bull penises and hot pot dog. For tourist-businessmen it's very easy to accomplish the most difficult tasks here while the simplest things could take weeks. Simple requests fall on a thousand deaf ears, but a single simple mistake is taken to great magnitudes... they only hear what they want to hear.

Drunken Rabble

Sometimes in the pursuit of booze we've all been known to push down old people or belly our way past the burgeoning hipsters. But blindly backhanding fellow patrons is absurd. Here the irrepressible John Martin can been seen sending VICE elder statesman Trace Crutchfield ass over teakettle off a Greenpoint barstool. The excuse: I was reaching for my beer! Critical lunacy indeed.

VICE's Non-Employee of the Year

Eric, formerly of Fenchurch and now of DVS/Lakai/Matix Europe, is our favorite non-employee and the person continually asked more about VICE Magazine than VICE employees at trade shows. That could be because the hired hands are usually too hungover too speak or they have yet to sneak out of some whore's flat to get back to the work of Media. Que lastima! Anyway this is Eric in our office during the Bread and Butter tradeshow. Despite his menacing appearance, he's as gentle as a giant. Currently he can be found in Berlin subsisting on the traditional fare of sausage salad and beir, though it could be pils, bock, dunkel, hell, or weizen if he is really desperate, and T. Drucker's vodka is spent. And you wonder why they lost the war.

Very Old School Music Video

White Fright Flight

In 1992, way back before the Gansevoort Meat Packing District and Chelsea became the destination hot spots they are today, you wouldn't find anybody but meat cutters and hookers along 9th and 11th Avenue. And the most intrepid destination in the area remained the old High Line, a 1.5-mile elevated train track which stood decaying above Manhattan’s West Side. Today the funky Western Beef is preparing to morph into something less affordable and presumably more appealing to the wine and dine crowds, while the gangs of the fun-loving street walkers seem forever lost to time. Things change. Futhering the sadness, the Meat Packing District has become the exclusive domain of the Connecticut Sweater-Set while the formerly secretive getaways of the High Line are prepping to open Prada slipper-friendly walkways to facilitate the safe passage of champagne cocktails between ubiquitous boutique hotels. Like walking? I am afraid it's time to walk somewhere else, boys.

The Kings of Kariki

Sometimes certain people are blessed with such pristine genome double-helix's that they resemble what geneticists call 'total babes'. Take our friend Steve for example. Here he's seen here with his doppelganger twin, Mark David Chapman. They are identical aside from one's long buttrock mane and the other's knowing smirk. Well, except for the fact that the Hessian is a Hollywood star and our pal is in the employ of a corporation involved with smooches of the Gallic variety. It should be noted that his lovely lady will be moving East shortly, effectively ending her days of lounging with B-list nymphettes and washed up goth rocksters. Paging Agent Mule! Rumor has it that when they first met, she was under the assumption that poor Steve was in fact, the other 'Steve' errr...Jared. No, not THAT Jared. What all does this have to do with VICE? Well the impending move has thrown hearts all aflutter far across the East River in our dear offices. Will a certain someone's take this well? Go ask Alexis.

Happy Hour

The VICE New York Office is one horny place. The goings on at the intern table itself are a bewildering swirl of intrigue and innuendo but it's the heavy hitters with drawers full mind altering and schlong-bending concoctions that is the craziest. A cursory glance in even the most unassuming player's desk yields sexual dynamite. So if you notice Trevor washing down a handful EXOTICA with Black Pearl Libido Enhancer you should probably step back about about 10 inches or so. Or be prepared to step up your game.

Canadian Funny Business

Along with assorted yuks this great interview with our man Mr. McInnes contains a nice summation of the differences between Canadians and Americans. These, however, may soon disappear with the results of last night's national elections in Canada in which the conservatives soundly thrashed the liberals. Everyone reports this outcome will lead to Canada jumping happily into the sack with America at every opportunity. Oh Canada!

The Hound of Buskerville

Some of the guys who work at VICE Magazine go to trade shows on occasion to busk for the company. I have no idea what really goes on at events like ASR in San Diego or Magic in Vegas, but I'm certain that some of it involves hero worship by young asian-canadians and the debauched behavior of our Murse. This picture captures Toronto hotshot-hustler Nick Chen-Yin, decked out in straightedge gear downing a bit of liquid courage before meeting Bam Margera. The two-hour wait to get Mr. Margera's autograph, ostensibly for a sister conveniently named Nicki, is something we'll never forget. Brothers this good are hard to find even if there's really no evidence of said sister.

Dadderall In The Headlights

Having kids is the most selfish thing in the world no matter what anyone sez, and yet also totally understandable. Everybody wants to dial in a kid that will elicit roars of approval from friends and teachers alike. Beautiful, brilliant children are the dream of every man, drunk or sober. The funny part is when wooden cigar store indian salesman like James Stockbauer start cranking out offspring, the kids are so much cuter and composed they make the father look like a nervous wreck on a failed business trip while she is as beautiful and perfect as a Russian doll.