A Drug For Every Age

Thanks to the FOIA addicted drug sleuths at The Smoking Gun there can be no denying the importance of celebrity branding in the illicit drug world. These merry pranksters are not only masters of subterfuge but are unparalleled in their creative efforts to hustle black market goodies. I suppose it was only a matter of time until the President's name turned up adorning NYC back alley bindles but ladies and gentlemen, Obama heroin? Mercy. This brown sugar joins a long line of concoctions using celebrity endorsement to lure recreational drug users into really getting their freaks on.

There was the paper LSD marked with Disney's Goofy, ecstasy bearing Harry Potter's stamp of approval, bricks of Teletubbies cocaine, and green-tinted crack in recognition of St. Patrick's Day. The audacity of dope indeed. Oh, and I almost forgot the lovable Taliban's all time best seller, Bin Ladin heroin.

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Pick Your Poison: The Debate Plods On

Whether you're pulling for John Sidney McCain III or Barack Hussein Obama, tonight's debate in Nashville will no doubt bring more politics as caricature. So why not turn the empty gestures of party politics into a drinking game? Every time John Sidney sez maverick swig from your Bud Light can and grab a hunk of SPAM off the tv tray. When you hear Barack Hussein mention community organizing give your Kendall Jackson chardonnay a good swirl and schmear some unpasteurized chèvre on a Carr's Table Water cracker. If, like me, you find them both pandering party confidence men then celebrate every time the moderator gets involved.

As for 3rd party options, there's always:

The Beer To Have

When You're Having More Than One

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Lyndon Baines Johnson

Today is the 100th anniversary of the birth of LBJ, one of the great political dazzlers of all time. A genuine hard-ass, hell-raisin' Texas sumbitch. Without him, Obama wouldn't have a chance at even eyeing the prize currently within his grasp but rarely does LBJ get mentioned much these days. George Packer of the New Yorker recalls the man who with faults galore still tried to do Civil Rights and MLK justice. Cat was truly larger than life. His deeds as President make JFK's pale in comparison.

I nominate August 27th LBJ Day-- a no shit taking holiday.