When A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words and One Million Glorious Calories

The best thing about winter weekends is the free pass given by spouses for unmitigated indulgence. And during the American football playoffs, dietary boundries get even blurrier. When the games are in play, the booze flows like Fat Tuesday in New Orleans and the immensity of caloric laden delectables is as ridiculous as it is debaucherous.

Now, I've eaten a lot of wild halftime dishes in my day including chicken skin sandwiches and stewed human placenta but this featured weave of pork and dairy, baked off, stuffed, rolled, sliced and served should ensure NFL backed arteriosclerosis research funding well into the next century.

There's a reason Orthodox Jews will wait 6 hours after eating meat or dairy before switching to the opposite. Wrapping it up in one fried bundle can stop in your tracks before you can say predator drone. Combined with the psychotic levels of "homerism" displayed by both football and religious fanatics these pork and diary weaves can't be an easy circulatory ride for blood already thickened like gumbo. But since neither Jews nor Muslims partake of swine, it is up to you American Sportsman to throw caution to the wind for the sake of your local hog farmer as well as your favorite footballing team. Be a good neighbor, take this heart fluttering bacon & cheese roll over to a buddy's bash just make sure the batteries for defibrillator are charged.

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