Saturday, January 10, 2009

When A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words and One Million Glorious Calories

The best thing about winter weekends is the free pass given by spouses for unmitigated indulgence. And during the American football playoffs, dietary boundries get even blurrier. When the games are in play, the booze flows like Fat Tuesday in New Orleans and the immensity of caloric laden delectables is as ridiculous as it is debaucherous.

Now, I've eaten a lot of wild halftime dishes in my day including chicken skin sandwiches and stewed human placenta but this featured weave of pork and dairy, baked off, stuffed, rolled, sliced and served should ensure NFL backed arteriosclerosis research funding well into the next century.

There's a reason Orthodox Jews will wait 6 hours after eating meat or dairy before switching to the opposite. Wrapping it up in one fried bundle can stop in your tracks before you can say predator drone. Combined with the psychotic levels of "homerism" displayed by both football and religious fanatics these pork and diary weaves can't be an easy circulatory ride for blood already thickened like gumbo. But since neither Jews nor Muslims partake of swine, it is up to you American Sportsman to throw caution to the wind for the sake of your local hog farmer as well as your favorite footballing team. Be a good neighbor, take this heart fluttering bacon & cheese roll over to a buddy's bash just make sure the batteries for defibrillator are charged.

Related posts from the the Running Mule archive
Every Day is Like Sunday
America's Funniest Team: The Dallas Cowboys

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

food pyramids be damned

bj said...

that looks Amazing!

skipstar said...

I was laughing so hard when I read this. And immediately want to make it. and maybe a chipotle sour cream dipping sauce.

Primeaux said...

holy shit

brian said...

this rivals the sandwich noah and i split with 4 porks. it was fucking awesome and i was mad i had to give him half. several slices of thick sliced smoked honey ham, a fist full of pulled pork, a whole smoked pork sausage cut into chunks, and several pieces of bacon. mmmmm bacon.

Anonymous said...

placenta? that is bullshit

the Giggler said...

check this Bacon Explosion upgrade out. Same thing but coming at you with 3x the pork products

 

the running mule

the running mule