Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Survey Says...WHAT?

A British survey revealed that the average woman spends two years of her life studying herself in mirrors, store windows, and other reflective surfaces. Men, who take quicker peeks, only spend six months per lifetime checking out how they look. This survey obviously neglected to take into account the dusty glances male VICEers are apt to take of themselves with dollar bills delicately shoved in nostrils. Although those in the statistics world would like to call these 'outliers', we all know the truth and it is this: with the proliferation of VICE as a worldwide multi-tentacled media lifestyle brand and the hiring of many delicately powdered fragile egos, we have reached a point where we are not 'outliers' but these face down mirror gazers are the every night norm. Survey is invalid without VICE!


Chinks said...

Like walking?

coconuts powdered emotions said...

snort me a new adsalesman! sniff sniff, you're hired!

Anonymous said...

file under VICE Guide To Cubicle Decoration: Are there tracks in the carpet around the ad selling pen? like that commercial from the 80s where the coke dudes wore circles in the carpet from pacing around, trying to get somewhere in their dead end jobs and dead end lives, but only getting deeper into the pile?


the running mule

the running mule