Thank God The Kids Were Not United

Wanna read the New York Magazine story?

Young Love In Action

Like drinking beer, champagne and rum? It's all free here. Come dazzle the I Dream of Genie crew of celestial gardeners at the Young Love release party tomorrow night. There are still a few spots left on the list, everyone is guaranteed entry and high fives from their manager. It's also Annette's big 21st birthday. She's been going to bars for years though.

And Then There Where Two

Long time VICE funhouse and Texas favorite, the Longbranch Inn has a sister it seems. With the rise of the Scoot Inn our brothers down south, Stockbauer and Kumbala, have unleashed a two-headed monster known as The East Inns of Austin. Anybody nervously curious? SXSW!

Check the local buzz this is already generating.

Girls Hit The Highway

Do Aliens Exist?

The Gawker Verdict Is In

Like Girls?

VICE Magazine & Autumn Skateshop Present
THE GIRLS ISSUE
Cover Photos by Billy Strobeck

A release party brought to you by adidas Skateboarding

Wednesday, January 17th, 9pm til late
205 Club (205 Chrystie St, corner of Stanton)

DJs: Amy Kellner, Meredith Danluck and Lissy Trullie

Free Flying Dog Beer, Free Entry

RSVP at girls@viceland.com

When You Are On You Are On

Actors are so full of shit and awards shows are the worst. So when a group of perpetually glad-handing bullshit artists haming on other folk jokes get together you know it's gonna get deep, thankfully Sacha Baron Cohen, who won Best Actor for Borat, took his acceptance speech seriously and refused to fudge in the traditional Hollywood fashion. Like Golden Globes?


This movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America but I saw some dark parts of America. An ugly side of America, a side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian...

When I was in that scene, and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled Golden Globes on my chin, I thought to myself, I'd better win a bloody award for this.

And then when my 300-pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice. Death, or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years. Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today. Thank you.

Beers, Queers & More Queers

Last time we checked, adoption by a single homo in Texas was legal, but joint custody was a bit of a grey area. Also, there is some movement to ban gay adoption outright in Texas. Why, you ask? Well maybe it's because some liberal case worker decided that these two chuckleheads would make good parents for our dear wee one. Stability? Love? Drug free lifestyles? Someone was really asleep at the drunken wheel when they granted this finger pointing queen and his tattooed bear partner custody! It's definitely been said that "home environments with lesbian and gay parents are as likely to successfully support a child's development as those with heterosexual parents", but, our dear gay Texans, you will assurdedly have these two randy Andy's to thank for never being able to adopt. And for the record, "I am not gay I just like the way it feels."

Florida Wins?

Seems like a pretty shallow gene pool to me but you make the call!

The Treat That Keeps on Giving

There's many theories in human resource land about how to keep company employees happy and productive. One such involves wilderness retreats and seminars, team building exercises, and a "getting away from it all" mentality. Here at VICE, our version is similar in the sense that the shirts come off and there is lots of bonding. Male bonding that is, while employees of the fairer gender watch with amused horror. Recently, after a stressful week 1 of January, 2007, the VICE cosmonauts touched down at several bars, and really let loose to an Ipod mix of Flogging Molly and the Bouncing Souls. Lots of skin, shards of glass and a complete lack of patrons. One member was rushed to the hospital the next morning, because, according to the Brit himself, "he's allergic to Gay". If you can't run with the bulls, get out of the basement closet boyss!

Interns Adrift

On occassion VICE gets newbies piling into John James' Golden Intern Corral from all over the globe and when their buddies return to the Isle of Capper & Creighton without them, they're left with nothing but flatlanders from kansas and drummers on couches to tequila their sorrows away. Like salt with lime?

The Practice Space You'll Never See

Even though VBS.tv has yet to hit the internet by storm, there are already outtakes and censored moments galore. In this 'Too Hot For VBS' segment, we take a still from Practice Space, hosted the the king of Northsix's basement punky rock royalty, Ryan Duffy. Shown here with members of the celestial nourishment brigade, the look on our inky friends face is decidedly Dorothyesque. We're not in West Orange anymore kiddies! Like illegal beagles? Bryce didn't!

David Choe Does Chelsea

The opening party for Choe's latest efforts will be held on Saturday, January 6, from 7pm -9pm at the Jonathan LeVine Gallery 529 W 20th St, 9th floor. If you would like to read the attendant gallery speak, read here. If you wanna have fun, go there.

The Contrarian Bellows